Friday, June 27, 2008

Why NOT me?

When something bad happens to some people, the first question they ask is "Why me?"

The first time I had cancer, I never once asked myself this question. I don't know why. I just figured it was something I had to deal with it.

Yet again, I find it impossible to ask "why me"? The only question I can ask is "why not me?"

It's a difficult concept to accept, but let's face it: bad things are going to happen to SOMEBODY. Accidental deaths will occur. A family member will be murdered. A child somewhere will have a disease and die. These are things most of us would rather not think about. But they are part of life just as much as anything else.

So now, I find myself with cancer a second time. At first, I will admit, I thought this might be it for life as I know it. But then, about a week later, I thought: I do not have to give into this! If I can make it through this (and I believe I will) and can go on to lead a better life and to inspire others through my journey--then that's an awesome feeling. Furthermore, I posses that drive and energy to make it. That being said, many people do die from cancer and cancer treatment. And while you may be the most positive person on the face of the planet, if it's your time to die, you will. But deep inside, I don't think this is my time to go.

The past few weeks, I have had to make some difficult decisions. It's amazing how cancer makes you do that. You really have to put your health first. Everything else takes a back seat. This has not been an easy time for me. 

That being said, I am happier than ever. I am happy that I have life. I am happy about what the future holds. And I will be so happy once this is all over and I will have my life to live again.

So now I want to challenge everyone reading this. Stop and think about just how many things you have to be thankful for. Even if you are having a bad day, I think you will be amazed at how much good is around you. Don't ever ask "why me"? Instead, ask yourself "why NOT me"? and figure out how you can make the best of any situation life throws at you.

Post-Surgery Video


I shot this video down at my parents in FL just 4 hours after surgery.

As I mention, I have decided to have my treatment at MD Anderson in Houston. My first appointment is July 7th.

I should have the pathology from the surgery back in about 1 week.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Surgery Complete

Surgery complete. Everything went OK. I recorded a brief video blog but blogger.com having tech problems. I will try and re-upload on Friday and/or write more.  

Friday, June 20, 2008

Neck Surgery

Neck surgery scheduled for next Thursday morning. Should have the results about a week later.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Surgery Soon....

Since the bone marrow came back negative, the next course of action is to have my suspect lymph node removed to see what wrong.

This far: I know there are malignant cells--I know that it's lymphoma.. but still don't know if it's Burkitt's yet or not. And of course, I may have to have a BMT (bone marrow transplant) regardless, but if it's a very slow growing lymphoma--perhaps not. I'm not an expert, but apparently agressive lymphomas (such as Burkitt's) can come back as something not as aggressive and vice versa. But when you are dealing with a reccurent cancer of ANY kind--of course you have to take the right action.

July 3 was the soonest appt. I could get at Emory to see an ENT doctor. So I came down to my family's place in Florida. I will see a surgeon tomorrow, and most likely, have neck surgery early next week. The results could take a few days to a week. But hopefully after that, I will know if this is Burkitt's again or not.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Bone Marrow CLEAR

NO CANCER CELLS FOUND IN BONE MARROW...

This is really good news for me. What this also means is that I will have the suspect lymph node surgically removed to find out for sure what's wrong... 

Monday, June 16, 2008

Is it Burkitt's again or a different lymphoma?

Just back from the doctor's office. I was suppose to go to the hospital on Wednesday. Now, we aren't sure if this is Burkitt's again or another lymphoma. So we will wait for more test results, and possibly have to have neck surgery to take it out and find out for sure.

GOOD NEWS: PET scan showed neck was only area with a tumor, and spinal fluid came back clean. So now, it's a matter of waiting for the bone marrow test that was done last week... 

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Four-Wheeling


Last weekend, I went down to visit my family outside of Quincy, Florida. I took some timeout to go 4-wheeling in the woods.

Tests and the Waiting Game...

Wed., Thurs., Fri. were nothing but tests. I'm going to be re-staged to find out how extensive the cancer is. This includes a bone marrow biopsy, PET scan, and spinal tap to determine if it's in the spinal fluid. I should have the results Monday and will update the blog then.

I guess I misunderstood the BMT process. I will be given some smaller doses of chemo to clear me out and only until I'm considered in remission will the BMT (or transplants) will take place.

Friday was information overload. I had so many tests including heart and breathing tests. Seven appts. total. The highlight of the day was Brenda that did my breathing test. She had such a great personality. I try to laugh as much as possible when I am having these tests done. Brenda--if you so happen to be reading this.. I hope you enjoyed your Panda Express.... :-)

So I should have my chest port placed on Wed and will be admitted there after and treatment will start right away. 

I am a bit concerned that my lymph node on my neck isn't larger. The first time around it was VERY noticeable. But hopefully this is something the doctor can address on Monday.

For now, I am trying my best to enjoy life before having to start this second fight...

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

First Video Blog....

Friday, June 06, 2008

It's Back...

Well... I hate to bring bad news, but looks like Burkitt's is back. This is the same cancer that has a 90% cure rate. This is the same cancer that usually comes back within the first year, if it comes back.

I will begin treatment as early as next week. This will not be an easy fight. It will be a lot harder than the first time around and will require a BMT (bone marrow transplant).

An enlarged lymph node showed up on my last CT scan--and a needle biopsy showed lymphoma had returned.

I will update this blog as I know more.